So today is just under a month until I turn 30 : s Boy how fast time has gone since I started writing this blog - it seemed so far away!
So how do I feel? A little nervous, a little frustrated but overall not too bad. The main problem is it's hard enough realising that your in your late 20s, but trying to think that I'll be joining the 30 somethings soon is mind boggling! There's nothing wrong with it (many of my friends are older than me) but it just doesn't seem right. Why me! Where did my 20s go?
Overall, I have just not been thinking about (which is the best thing for it) but it's hard for it not to slip back in there.
You see, my problem is, I still feel that I haven't achieved enough before this birthday and one month is just not enough time to do it all in. I know that I won't turn 30 and be trapped in my house apart from going to work, but for some reason, that's how my mind sees it.
I know many girlfriends of mine that have got passed the 30 mark, so there is light past the birthday, but I'm still scared : s
I think the thing that made me think of it the other day, was the change that I will need to make to the title of this block. It is currently Route to Thirty and I have decided I am enjoying writing it so much that I don't want it to end, but the title needs to change. I want it to have the same chatty, blog manner where I natter about life but I will be past 30. Do I really want it to be Route to 40? That makes me feel even older so soon from this first great shock. But what else am I heading towards. I'm not planning on having children at the moment, I'm not getting married and I hope to have a proper job soon so don't want it to be Route to Work (that and it sounds lame). It will be a Route to something I just don't know what. Maybe to growing up? Maybe I don't want to do that yet.
That's the main problem, I don't want to grow up! I prefer my life as an adult but now want to stay this age (kind of like an adult Peter Pan, lol). I don't want to be the old one in the club that still likes dancing to hits - it makes me sad, I will always like dancing!
I know I'm probably looking into this too much but hey ho, I'm a woman hitting the 30 sign without being able to drive - it just doesn't seem right!
Well, for now, I'm going to stay in denial and watch some Mad Men which makes me feel sophisticated, young and on the pulse. If your not watching it, you just don't know what your missing!
To cheer us all up, my title today is from one of my favourite musicals of all time, The Rocky Horror Show. So get your dancing boots on and click the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opOsgzzDPdw&feature=related
Everyone was talking about over the summer and now I'm reading. Did you guess it? If not, I'm talking about 50 Shades of Grey.
Now I didn't buy it and certainly didn't originally plan to read it, but everyone has gone on about it so much, my friend lent it to me to see what I thought.
I have to say I am quite disappointed by it and I am 4/5 of the way through. My biggest problem is I dislike the two lead characters. So there's Christian Grey, who from the descriptions in the book has long fingers (creepy like a horror film), is arrogant, likes possession over everything and can't take no for an answer. Then there is Anastasia, she's SO naive (I used to be naive but not like her, she's just stupid), annoying (any girl that causes her sexual area "my sex" needs to be slapped) and she is so caught up with her feelings she doesn't listen to the one reasonably sensible person (she has her moments) in her life, her friend Kate.
I mean, who is this book for: Is it young girls who are being told it's fine to fall for the weird older guy stalking you, older women looking for a gritty storyline or for men thinking of new ways to pursue young women?
I am not disgusted of it because of the content (I'm nearly 30 and have watched/read things far worse), I am disgusted because it is so popular. I just can't see the interest. Everything from the capital letters at the start of important sentences to the fact that Christian Grey is just a sex addict and rarely thinks of anything else. Why have people been reading this?
The problem is, personally as a women, I either want a romantic story with a bit of lust or sex in it or I want a piece that has bits of unexpected sex scenes that rial the senses. I would have more thrills having some Hotel Chocolat's than reading this - at least I would get pleasure from that!
I have to say with the likes of some of my favourite programs on box set (including Mad Men, Smallville, Tudors and in general anything made by HBO), I just can't wait to put this book down and get into some real drama. To think I put this book first in front of a queue of books by great authors - how disappointing!
I won't be reading the next two (it has been a waste of time reading the first) and I can't wait to hand this Fifty Shades of Bollocks back.
Blog title is from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA
Isn't it weird how important things in your life just seem to change over time. My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 7 years and when we first got together the excitement of jumping each others bones (yeah, I'm being dirty, lol) was thrilling and frequent. Now it is still very enjoyable, but different (in a good way, as in you know the person really well and your more comfortable with them than when you first dated) and not that often.
Now there is no one to blame about this apart from ourselves. Like many of us, work has taken over our lives and everything else seems to have taken a back seat - something I am not happy about and want to change!
First problem is definitely the fact that we live in London. London may have everything you need and be open 24 hours, but that is the exact reason it is a problem - we work in an industry where people want to be entertained all the time. Due to both of us working in the Arts, we do not work regular hours and our shifts can go from 7am to past midnight (any day of the week). And this is without the crazy travel we do (I had a job recently where I had to go to Wembley and one way it took over 2 hrs to get there : s) It's hard enough spending time together just to see each other, let alone anything else.
Second problem is our actual jobs. We both have times when we get told the day before that we have to do an extra shift or day and have to change our plans. Most the time we work around it, but it is still annoying - I have missed weddings, birthdays, Christmas parties etc for this : (
The thing is, even when we want to do "stuff" we are tired and so it's best not to do anything than it be rubbish and leave it to another day - sometimes I also feel flirty but not dirty and that's cack too. It's so complicated!
My boyfriend and I were talking about "the future" (that scary adult talk that occurs around this age) and he was talking about having children. Now, he's a little younger than me (by a year or so), which is good, because when I actually became an adult (not 18 when you can drink and think your grown up), I realised I wanted some kind of career before children and that it would take a few more years for him to want any. But there's a few other things asides from career I want before this: at least once where we get to go on a mini travelling expedition (a couple of months will do, to learn how to drive (yes, I'm a loser - actually no, I live in London, why drive, it's too expensive) to have more fun sex before it becomes "planned" sex (lol) and a signed agreement that the babies we have don't turn my tight special place into a cave - sounds wrong, but I'm currently happy with it down there, lol. The thing is, he is now interested in having kids in the next couple of years and I don't know if it is cos I am getting older, he is or both of us are. I didn't really think that guys worried about getting too old for kids, until I read the article "Hear that? It's my boyological clock ticking!" in Glamour.
Russell Kane wrote a rather interesting piece about wanting kids but having not met the right women yet. He suggests that men have a boyological clock, it's just in their brains rather than in their organs and that they like the idea of being an active young dad, than a tottering middle aged man. The thing is, he suggests, that most men don't realise until they are already past they're ideal age and it's too late.
I have to say, if this is the case, I'll have to start taking my fella more seriously. I do want kids but the moment has to be right - after all I'm the one with 9 possible months of agony and then a kid for life. You can't just say yes on a whim!
I do know that although I am career minded, I have my mother's nature for wanting kids and have become a bit broody at times (cute little girls at wedding, the young dads dancing round with their tiny sons, a baby's laugh - there is just something about it that I want). However, first he better put a ring on it (power to Beyonce) and then I will reconsider in time. I'm not even 30 yet, there's time and much more fun to be had first : )
Blog title comes from the one and only, cheesily good, STEPS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnN3YATAe7o
I actually saw them live recently at one of their reunion shows and here's one of the pics : )
It's the Sunday morning after another wedding reception. It's been quite good this year as all the weddings we've been to have been for people we are close to, so we've known lots of people and have been so happy to be at their big day. But it does start to put the pressure on with your own relationsship and the fact that we're getting older.
My boyfriend and I now go to about 3 weddings a year (this ones a super year and we are actually going to five - we work in Theatre and have a lot of mates outside of the industry, so someone's always celebrating something). At one point I was sick of hearing about weddings and feeling that I should care. Not because I am a horrible person but because it was always the topic of conversation and always came back to when we were getting married, when we weren't ready and couldn't afford it (we still can't but that doesn't bother me too much at the mo).
Luckily, as I said before, we started going to more weddings for people closer to us and although "wedding" was becoming my least favourite word, at least it was finally seeing close mates truely happy.
Before my guy rolled out of bed this morning, I decided to read my current copy of Glamour (still reading it at the moment, lol - connected with a previous blog). There was a really interesting article called "He's 29? Run!", which talked about this new form of early mid-life crisis that guys (especially from the 80s babyboom) are having between the ages of 25 and 35 (funny enough, I think my brother started his about a year ago and is still having it) but mainly occurs on the lead up to the big 30.
Through reading the article and through personal experience, it seems that women do a similar thing but generally a lot more internally and only discuss with friends when the question is broached. As for the guys in this article, they seem to have made brash decisions and decide to change the whole of their life to deal with the worry of getting old - asides from the guy that had realised he was gay and hadn't told his girlfriend (that was just unfair on both the girlfriend and himself|).
The thing is because men and women's minds work so differently, it is difficult at times to communicate and understand the differences and similarities between the mental states we go through in our lives. I really like reading articles like this which help to break down those barriers and sometimes allow you to have conversations with your own mates/boyfriends that you wouldn't have discussed before.
I am 30 in less than 2 months and I feel the inner pressure going on in my head. I know that day will be no different to any other, yet it seems like such a difficult milestone to past. And no, I am not going to give up everything and go to the other side of the world, but there is the thing in my mind that I have not achieved in the way I should have. There is nothing I can do about it apart from carrying on working hard and still striving for the things I have always wanted. At the moment for me this is: a happy home, a happy relationship, having and keeping my amazing friends and a job that excites me and makes me want to be there each day - it sounds like a lot but I know it's achievable! (I also want to state that I have had all of these, but it is hard to have them all at the same time).
I have read another male article that interests me to do with kids, but I will blog this tomorrow - don't want to overfill anyone's heads on a Sunday.
Today's blog title is based on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4JhvGLjgqY&feature=related
